Chinese New Year

Chinese new year had always been a quiet affair for my own family since I was young. I remembered following my mum's to People's Park, and see her haggling prices with those shop owners selling dried foodstuff. I will always remember those smells. Till now, whenever I walked past shops selling dried seafood, it always fills me up with those memories of CNY.
In my old house, We never really set down for a proper dinner. There wasn't a proper dinning table. the lone table that we have in the kitchen is always full. And being young, we were always fed early for dinner. By the time my father came home, we would already had our dinner already. Even for CNY reunion dinner, I can't recalled waiting for my dad and sitting down for that special dinner at all. But usually after he had dinner, we would all make a trip to Chinatown to catch the exciting spirits of CNY
It was only after we moved to a new place then we started having reunion dinners together. To me, even though it was only 1 time a year but it was fun. And I remember my father cracking corny jokes. And it would be followed by a trip to Chinatown. When I was young, I would followed my parents, then as I became a teenager it became uncool. So I stopped going, my younger sis would follow them instead. If she did not go, my father would make the trip by himself. And he would always walked home after CNY had been rang in. He enjoyed the walk and perhaps, it allowed him to immersed in his own dreams and thoughts too. He had never missed a year, not in my memory.
This year, CNY is just not the same. He couldn't make the trip to Chinatown anymore, of course. Weeks before CNY,I felt like bursting into tears very often that I was annoyed with myself. I cried in front of his final resting place. I cried in my sleep. Every time I remember him, I can feel my tears coming out. It feels like I was having a massive heart break. I keep lamenting to my sis that it is so different without him here.There are no fresh CNY decorations, the house has not been dust. In fact, it doesn't really feel like it was going to be CNY soon.
My FB status of that week was " Happy New Year to You. Are You aware that it is CNY?" I had went to Mandai on Friday. My siblings went on Saturday, day of the reunion dinner. I wrote a note to my father and my sis had burned it. I hope he got it as we had written that it was CNY and want him to come home
And the day of the reunion dinner came, He was sorely missed. I missed his corny jokes, I missed the bantering, I missed having him around. Everything was just wrong. He wasn't at his usual sitting place. I quickly excused myself after a while. I couldn't bear it much longer. As my siblings drank wine at my side, I asked my sister whether she thinks he got the note or not? She shrugged and told me that there was someone who had sobbed when he was at Mandai earlier in the day. I hope some day that someone would make more effort and go see him more often and not only when prompt. I think my father would be happy
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